Meanwhile, during bedtime…

I’m a helpful person. I try to help Cole whenever I see he could use a hand. Often, this happens when he’s scratching an itch. I see that he’s scratching his nose or neck or ribs and so I reach over and start scratching him in the same spot. I mean, if one hand scratching is good then two or more must be fantastic!

Cole does not appreciate when I help him in such ways.

Me: Let me help youuuuuuu

Cole: YOU AREN’T HELPING 

Me: I must be helping because you’re laughing

Cole: Quit victim-blaming

Me: I’m not victim-blaming; I’m victim-enabling! I’m giving you permission to be a victim! I’M HELPING!

Cole (rolls over): Go away. Go to sleep.

Me (scoots over and puts my arms around him): I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO LOVE!

Cole: Go to sleep! You are not winning an Oscar for this performance.

Me: I don’t want an Oscar. I’m hoping to be considered for a Tony.

Cole: God just GO TO SLEEP!

Me: We’ll be doing this for 8 shows a week!

Cole covers himself with the sheet and tries to imagine that I’m not there.

Me (whispers): 8 shows a week…

Published in: on 08/31/2016 at 1:38 AM  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    >


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